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11-Jan-2020 20:56

“Some bi men and their partners felt they no longer belonged and were discriminated against by gay men and lesbians.Some women who had been loved by gay men were now hearing comments like, ‘You’d better lock your boyfriends away, the female predator is here’,” says Dr Pallotta-Chiarolli. Is the bedroom a sacred space or can others come into bed with us? Are we going to do gendered monogamy - meaning the man could only date other men and the woman other women? Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda had dated the same idiots I had; had stared at a silent un-ringing phone along with me; had attended so many friends’ weddings wondering all the while where our “The One” was.My fandom knew no bounds: I even gathered friends together to hold a “Trash or Treasure” party based on a Charlotte quote where she discovered a couple who had met after being discarded by their dates. Right came along when we least expected it, I’d been doing that whole least expecting it thing for a good six years.

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"We had some women who said that after dating a bi man, they could never go back to dating a straight man." Despite these findings, says Dr Maria Pallotta-Chiarolli, such pairings are little understood, both academically and among the public.

“The final third went on to continue their amazing relationship. Some of the women who were devastated when they found out would think to themselves, ‘I have to weigh that against the fact that he’s been the most sensitive, loving, and caring partner and father.

And he’s been great in bed.’ Suddenly, they had to ask themselves if it’s worth giving up this amazing man simply because he has desires and wants to have relationships with other men.

When the men did not feel comfortable coming out, misogyny and violence continued to be issues.

This was generally a response to “incredible stigmatisation, marginalisation, and discrimination for their bisexuality,” says Dr Pallotta-Chiarolli “One example was of a man who basically married his female partner to cover his same-sex attractions,” says Dr Pallotta-Chiarolli.

Society, the media, counselling services, and schools tend to 'erase' their relationships by grouping bisexuality within the gay or straight binary; or forget altogether that bisexual men and their partners are of all ages, ethnicities, countries, classes, she explains.



Like many home schooling families, my wife Vickie and I have chosen the courtship model for our children as an alternative to dating.… continue reading »


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