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“They don’t want to miss out on being part of their group, with whom they glean their identity.”Although you may be ready to walk down the aisle, it can be hard to get a younger man to put a ring on it.
“In some cases, a younger guy is developmentally in a different place,” says psychotherapist Robi Ludwig.
Here are the reasons you wave off the idea of dating young: (aimless, noncommittal, out just for sex). But it didn’t seem to fit my reasons for dating younger, nor is it an accurate or flattering explanation of why younger men are worth dating.
But that’s not a power position, and it does you no favors. Beware of wielding stereotypes; they’re cheap shortcuts masquerading as wisdom, and if you use them, prepare to be judged by them. You would only applaud someone if she succeeded in doing something impossible or crazy, or if she got away with something she shouldn’t have. The cougar image is cartoonish at best, derived either from a culture fearful of a sexually empowered woman, or from the woman herself, who claims cougardom as a way to boost her self esteem via sex with a man many years her junior.
If a lot of your guy’s friends are like him—young and single—going out to bars until 4 a.m.
drinking, flirting with women, and behaving like a frat boy may be the norm.
“Many younger men are more connected with their peers than they are with the idea of being a couple,” explains Naples, FL-based author and relationship columnist April Masini.“The younger and less experienced he is, the more open he’ll be in his relationship with you.”Be forewarned, though: Less baggage can also mean a lack of relationship skills, such as communicating and resolving problems and conflicts, says Melanie Matcek, a matchmaker and relationship coach in San Antonio, TX.Be selective about your battles and learn to compromise on things that aren’t vital to your relationship, she recommends.They may be less inclined to marry right away or at all, perhaps, but that’s not the same as not wanting a real relationship. Stop it with the, “Oh but he probably wants some 21-year-old chick with perfect breasts.” There will always be scores of young hot girls roaming the planet.
You’re wrong to think he couldn’t be turned on by you.Dating someone younger—whether you’re two or three years his senior or are talking cougar territory—certainly can work (look at Eva Longoria and her 4-years younger beau), but being an “older woman” in a relationship does tend to come with certain perks and downfalls.