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21-Mar-2020 06:35

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“I don’t like wasting my time or getting my heart broken, so I think it’s a self-defense thing to almost always tell the guy on the first date,” she explains.“If they want to cut and run, I haven’t invested too much of myself in it.”But in the future, she thinks she’ll take her time disclosing as long as she gets it done before engaging in sexual activities that would put the other person at risk.The mark on my adolescent mind was indelible, and in college I signed up to be a safe-sex peer counselor. Maybe if herpes were called “the ouchies” or “tender Skittles,” it wouldn’t freak us out so much. ” All I could think was, “Sucks if you’re stuck at two?One thing I was taught to teach was to get tested for HIV immediately if you contracted one of those minor STDs like crabs or Chlamydia. I bundled all of those maladies into one sack of personal fear and neurosis and heaved it onto my back, waddling around like a finger-wagging Santa Claus, doling out condoms and borderline paranoid advice on how to have sex safely. ” Granted, he was squarely from another era, and I don’t know any dude who’d be proud of catching a “social disease,” but they wouldn’t be as hard on themselves as they would a woman. The world is full of people who’ve had multiple sexual partners and never contracted squat.The infection, which is caused by the herpes simplex 1 and herpes simplex 2 viruses and passed via skin-to-skin contact, can show up as a cluster of sores on the mouth area or genitals.It can also be asymptomatic, so most people with herpes don’t know they have it, which is a large part of the reason why it’s so prevalent.They both say it can be nerve-racking, but a few things help: sitting the person down in a place that’s comfortable for them, trying not to be too emotional, starting off with something like, “Hey, there’s something I need to talk to you about,” and bringing a wealth of knowledge to the conversation.“I always try to be calm and not too clinical but explain that I have done the research,” Carlson says.Davis agrees, saying she fills people in on key details, like how herpes is transmitted, how transmission can be prevented, whether she’s taking medication that keeps the virus from multiplying, thus making it less likely to transmit, and how to find more information about the STD.

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Both Davis and Carlson eventually moved past their initial panic and saw herpes for what it is: an infection many people have that happens to usually get passed through sexual contact.

To top it all off, she also tells them they don’t have to make a decision about whether to continue seeing her—or even respond—right away. But I usually peace out so they have their space to chew on it,” she says.