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27-Jul-2020 23:09

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The Survival Bible has put together a guide to some common Teutonic types.Our advice: Be careful out there -- there is always a catch.NEEDY GERMAN MALE: Usually in his mid-to-late twenties, the needy German male has generally just been dumped by his first girlfriend with whom he had been together since he hit puberty. Then he realizes the solution: He needs a replacement girlfriend. Habitat: Needy German male is probably still studying and light years away from getting a proper job (Germans can stretch their university degree courses over a decade).You’re likely therefore, to catch a glimpse of him and his geeky Internet-addicted mates at higher education establishments, grubby clubs and student canteens.Stretched out by the swimming pool in my bikini, I asked: “Do I look fat in this? " Distinguishing marks: Adonis-like hairless, perma-tanned body. Favorite Activities: Marathons, hill running, admiring himself in a mirror, making tofu stir-fry.Over-use of gel in dyed hair with mussed bed-head being particular popular at the moment. The Pros: Sporty German Males enjoy robust health and look like a 30-something whipper-snappers when they’re really 56.Keep an eye out for a tendency to shop at “Frankonia Jagd” or similar huntin’-shootin’-fishin’ establishments.He may have an ability to speak boarding school English with a fake Eton accent.

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Welcome to the lost world of Germany’s redundant aristos.

And when you resist your transition into the Teutonic Upper Class, Aristo German Male will dump you for an Aristo German Female with higher cheekbones. Running around Hamburg’s Alster when you fancy going shoe shopping, or forcing you to go Nordic Walking on a Sunday morning when you’d still rather be under your duvet stuffing yourself with scrambled eggs, Sporty German Male laughs in the face of blubber, Wiener Schnitzel and chips.

SPORTY GERMAN MALE “I never, ever got involved in sport,” said Winston Churchill wisely. My one brief encounter with Sporty German Male included a doomed mini-break to Mallorca. “If you were fat, my sweetness, you would not be here!

Distinguishing marks: On paper, the little “von” or “zu” -- or even more absurdly, both -- tagged onto his last name is a dead giveaway you’ve met a man of Teutonic Sang Real.

Aristo German Male style almost always includes a Thomas Pink shirt, designer jeans and tweed jacket.

Dating in itself is a very personal and sophisticated matter. According to Lynne P., an American living in Germany, ” …



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