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21-Jan-2020 13:00

Regnerus: We underestimate how capable modern pornography is of altering us and affecting everyone—even those who don’t give it a look.

It fosters the “pure” relationship mentality that sex is about the individual, not the relationship.

But whether we wish to admit it or not, there is this aspect to it. Regnerus: Because marriage is not “cheap-sex proof.” Cheap sex is a reality now, and it’s no respecter of our deepest commitments.

CWR: Marriage and sexual relationships have undergone many changes since the 1960s.

Regnerus, an associate professor at the University of Texas at Austin and a senior fellow at the Austin Institute for the Study of Family and Culture, received international attention several years ago for his New Family Structures Study.From the book: “equality is its organizing principle, taste and emotion are its barometers, discovery is a key goal, and while the couple is the basic structure to the union, it is never to usurp the individual’s primacy and will.” It’s a relationship form and mentality that is inherently less stable than even the soul-mate model.CWR: How are LGBT relationships the vanguard of the “pure relationship”?Regnerus: Giddens held that gay and lesbian relationships were “in the vanguard of the pure relationship form,” which meant that their relationships would most clearly exhibit the traits of this new form of relating, and I see evidence of it in the higher number of gay partners, the shorter duration of relationships, and their greater proclivity toward sexual technologies like pornography.

Bisexuality in particular seems to be a symptom of this shift—a state in which everyone is a potential partner.

It has speeded up how quickly relationships become sexual, slowed down the progress of those relationships toward marriage, and made many men and women less certain about the person they’re with.