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In Sudan, traditional values prevail, and intimate topics are usually restricted to single-sex discussions.But a foreign woman like myself can serve as a sort of oracle for guys here, giving them a chance to consult a woman’s point of view in a way that would seem impossible with local women.His friend who lived in Doha agreed, but said he didn’t talk to women so bluntly.He said that while FGM was something men might talk about among themselves, most would be too embarrassed to raise it with women.Friends, all men in their 20s who have known each other through family connections their whole lives, freely come and go.They eat, they talk, they smoke the tobacco-loaded water pipe called a shisha and occasionally bring their girlfriends over for companionship that never goes beyond watching movies and smoking out of sight of the prying "adults." I stayed at the house during a recent trip.That’s how the subject of female genital mutilation, or FGM, somehow came up. S.-Sudanese friend–who is engaged to be married to a terrific woman studying to be a doctor–curled his lip at the idea of dating anyone who had been mutilated.
Generations of Sudanese have marked their marriages with the bride standing naked in front of female relatives or with the bridal couple sprinkling each other with milk, traditions that are increasingly being The traditional ceremony involves cutting her raht, a short skirt or underwear.That evening, as my friend from Virginia and I were both using our laptops, the topic came up again. And again, because I’m not local, I suppose that’s why they felt comfortable asking me about it.