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These provocative comments might be disguised as constructive criticism or “just jokes,” but you can distinguish them because they are often comments laced with condescension rather than compassion and consideration.
Harsh teasing that serves no other purpose but to ignite your anger or annoyance, put you down and insult you from playful teasing which is used to flirt and build rapport with a partner. Beware of the tactics of the covert sarcastic put-down.
Even if the abuser idealizes you quite convincingly in the early stages of dating, you may witness his or her behavior towards others as a red flag of future behavior.
For example, is he or she rude to the waiter or waitress on your date?
Of course, if you’re familiar with the vicious abuse cycle of narcissists which include idealization, devaluation and discard, you’ll know that you’ll soon be thrust off the pedestal.
Knowing you’re triggered by their comments gives them a sadistic sense of satisfaction that alleviates their secret sense of inferiority and strokes their delusions of grandeur, control and aptitude.
Dating Emotional Predators: Signs to Look Out For by Shahida Arabi Dating an emotional predator, a narcissist, a sociopath or anyone else who has the potential to be an abusive or toxic influence in your life is a devastating emotional roller coaster of highs and lows.
Although many abusers tend to unfold and reveal their true selves long after they’ve already reeled their victims in, there are some key signs to look out for when dating someone that can foreshadow their future behavior. Abusers want to control and manipulate their victims, so they will find covert ways to maintain control over you psychologically.
Don’t attempt to justify this if it happens with or without the involvement of alcohol – alcohol may lower inhibitions, but it doesn’t cause personality transplants.
It’s very likely that the abuser is revealing his or her true behavior even while claiming that the “drink” made him or her do it.Sarcasm is one of the mighty weapons in an abuser’s arsenal.